Posted by: apopalyptic | 05/20/2011

Party at Ground Zero!

According to some, tomorrow is going to be the Rapture.

If this is true, then it might be important to think about what to wear. Because the Rapture is going to bring on the Apocalypse for those of us who get left behind. If the Apocalypse is anything like this… well: sign me up!

This also means that what I plan to wear tomorrow is going to be crucial, because it can happen at any time, and I’ll want to be prepared. Since I have to run ten miles before 11am, the outfit I wear into pending doom  may look something like this:

me and Mr. Pickle at the Cherry Blossom 10 Miler! Taken by Elizabeth

What’s good about this outfit is: layers! I’m wearing tights under the shorts (not as pants, people! not as pants!), a long-sleeved wiking shirt, and my New Order t-shirt from 1989 (which, during this race, actually got a complement around the 5th mile). Notice the shorts are bright orange. This will be useful– in all that muck and darkness, I’ll be able to be seen from afar. It was too cold to wear my running sleeves, but I think that these might be a little more appropriate for any kind of end of days moment that might be happening tomorrow:

My running sleeves have a pocket on each side, which is useful for holding a Goo packet. Goo is like pudding for runners… but it’s in a thing that looks like a ketchup packet. You’re supposed to take one at the beginning of vigorous exercise, and then every fifteen minutes after your first hour.  If I do a two hour run tomorrow, that’s five packets! And, if all of a sudden this Rapture thing happens, then it could be days before I can get back to my apartment; a zero calorie energy source will be imperative.

I’ll also be sporting my running pouch. It is important to note that a running pouch is NOT a fanny pack. It is a flat, zippered pouch which holds my iPhone (great for Hipstamatic photos of the Rock Creek when it’s boiling over with the hot fires of hell), keys, emergency Albuterol inhaler (I suspect there will be a lot of dust), and Goo packets.

I’ve been watching a lot of Battlestar Galactica lately. Not the Lorne Green version from the 70s, but the SyFy Channel’s reimagined version. According to that series, only hott people survived the Cylon Attack on the Colonies. Which means we can only hope that the Rapture might include some kind of fraked up battle of man versus toaster. For the record: I’d be totally willing to live for years in a space fleet. I mean…


  1. […] It’s similar to what I wore at the Cherry Blossom 10 Miler, and what I ended up with on my Run for the Apocalypse on the day the world was supposed to end: bright traffic-cone orange shorts (with purple and yellow […]

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