The pattern is called the Brioche Cowl, from the Knit 1 LA blog. It’s a free pattern and fairly quick and easy. The yarn was purchased at the amazing local yarn store Fibre Space, and pretty close to what’s used in the original. I would call this color taupe, which is to say it’s definitely not beige (yuck!) and not really gray. And I refuse to call a color by the unfortunate portmanteau “greige” because that’s not a word that should be said out loud. It’s a lovely neutral that can be work with other neutrals, as seen here with my favorite black t-shirt; and, I suppose you could wear it with brighter colors that go with our apopalyptic aesthetic, such as Pantone’s color of 2012, Tangerine Tango — check out this swatch:

And apocalyptic for fairly obvious reasons:

–It covers the face so that you can still see, protecting the wearer from pollution or weather elements like wind or pellets of acid rain.

–It looks good in a neutral color and is designed for relatively thick yarn, which means you’ll keep very warm. Or, if you don’t have any yarn like this available, you could fashion something out of plastic bags (like the ones from the Safeway) that haven’t biodegraded or old scraps you fashion into some kind of knitting material.

–It’s giant! Everything post apocalyptic is giant like this, right?

Abigail said to me: in making this, I totally get why knitting is apocalyptic. Because you can make  your own clothes. Of course!

Here’s some more photos of the cowl styled differently:

This pattern is incredibly easy. You basically knit one long rectangle on the bias. You start with four stitches and increase on both side till you get to the desired length. Then, you increase only on one side till you get to the desired width, which will be way longer than you think it is. When you get to that point, you start to decrease on both sides until you’ve got four stitches left. Next you sew the seam, pick up stitches and do ribbing for the waistband, sew it down, inert the elastic and voila: you’ve made stylin’ skirt! The pattern, which utilizes two balls of variegated yarn of the same colorway, calls for that really fancy Noro Kureyon but I used the much more affordable Chroma (worsted weight) from Knit Picks in the Mixtape colorway.

Here is a photo that Julie took of me at the corner of 15th and U Street:

I love this skirt! I was a little worried I could only wear it with tights, but the yarn isn’t itchy! It is dry-clean only so that’s going to be a bit of an issue, since I plan on wearing this skirt all the flipping time. It’s warm, which is a bonus because yesterday was one of those pre-fall days when it’s kind of cold but not too cold, and I was perfectly comfy. It is a little bulky in the waist area due to the elastic, and as Michael Kors might say, who wants to look bulky in the waist area? There are ways to minimize that, though, with belts and sweatshirts, so I think it’ll work out okay.

The Lanesplitter is Apocalyptic because it’s easy and fast, and could probably be switched up in various ways. I think it could work well with yarn that variates in thickness but stays the same color (like Vicky Howell’s Vegas Yarn, but that would end up being a rather expensive skirt), or even materials (plastic bags?). It’s also cute, and in this colorway, Mixtape, I am reminiscent  of carefree times, spending hours taping songs off of other tapes, or LPs, or CDs, crafting two 45-minute sides of pure emotion.

It features:

• an old green cardigan I got from Delia’s
• a black tank top from the Target from when I was Angelina Jolie for Halloween (that was an inspired costume: jeans, black shoes, black tank top, mirrored sunglass and a black baby doll and white baby doll wrapped in a blanket I made into one of those snuggie things that I ended up donating to Toys For Tots at Holiday time)
• my go-to Pumas, Anjans, in two shades of blue
• a scarf I got at Urban Outfitters last year that is like a black and white photograph of fern trees superimposed onto the fabric that I like to call my Arcade Fire scarf. Maybe because I had just gotten The Suburbs and was listening to it when I bought it? Or because it reminded me of being in Denver in all of those places that made me feel all alpine, which also makes me feel like I’m stuck in an Arcade Fire video.
• and my new silver grey lace skirt I got on sale via Jcrew-dot-com.

There are aspects of this outfit that qualify as Apopalyptic. The colors: grey and black and white. I’ve decided this is the aesthetic I’m going for this fall, and that is because I am obsessed with the new BBC/PBS Sherlock and how London looks all grey wool and felty. And, well, mostly because that’s how they costume Sherlock. I’m calling it Sherlockette. The green sweater, layered over the tank top, serves to suggest the bright-color-as-talisman of spring days that don’t exist anymore.  I made the executive decision to tuck in the tank top, which I never do, to show off the waistband of the skirt in all it’s grey satin glory. I feel like this made the whole outfit look like those Degas ballerina statues, which, actually, I find a bit creepy and apocalyptic anyway.

It fits in pretty well without actually looking like I am wearing a face mask, which, in this time of late summer ragweed allergies, might not be a bad idea.

In this photo, which I guess was taken on set for some movie JLo is starring in, she’s clearly workin’ the apocalyptic moment: boots with a dress and no tights, a sleeveless shift and a scarf, in a grey color resembling the sky of a moment in which there is no longer a natural world to inspire us.

I can’t really write about this any better than the Fug girls. But I will say that while I am a huge fan of dressing for the apocalypse. I’m not really a huge fan of this outfit. If this is the way the world ends, it’s with a whimper and not with a bang. I expected more from JLo. Really.

It was an amazing feat. I was happy the whole way, even though after the ten mile mark I ended up walking a lot. Aside from not being used to the elevation, the longest distance I have ever done is ten miles and that was a month prior to the race. But it was a great run. I spent time in a beautiful part of the country, ate good food (hello Zingerman’s Roadhouse biscuits with chocolate bacon gravy! I can’t wait to see you again!), listened to music with friends and got to do this thing that I never really thought would ever happen.

Here is my favorite photo that Shane took of us at the end of the race. Elizabeth finished before me, but at the end, after I made my way through fake finish line of balloons (I think it was 13th mile marker), I saw Elizabeth off to the right and started waving to her. She ripped off her bib as to not mess up the chip time, ran towards me and for the last tenth of a mile, we ran together. I crossed the finish line and the announcer said “From Washington, DC: Tina and friend!”  I think this photo captures the moment quite brilliantly:

Me seeing Elizabeth as I rounded the finish line!

taken by Shane

As Elizabeth pointed out, I had a very colorful race outfit. It’s similar to what I wore at the Cherry Blossom 10 Miler, and what I ended up with on my Run for the Apocalypse on the day the world was supposed to end: bright traffic-cone orange shorts (with purple and yellow trim), kelly green compression socks, a pink cammo headband I scored at the race expo the day before, and a grey tank top. I started off with my cammo running sleeves but it got too hot and somewhere around the first mile Elizabeth put them in her pocket, though I did wear them long enough for a photo opp:

They let kitty cats run half marathons?

taken by Shane

But let’s talk about the compression socks for a bit. A few people along the way asked me if they helped with the long distances. I told one guy: well, I think they do, so I guess that they do. But they really do. They are made of science (like Elizabeth’s compression pants) in that they hold everything in and make your muscles not cramp up, and they really help with shin splints, which put a huge damper on my very first ten mile run. It was a pain that would not go away and got worse if I stopped running. Compression socks don’t entirely fix the problem (for me, it was to up my intake of Vitamin D), but they have helped tremendously. Abigail gave me her extra pair. My compression socks are utilitarian and fashionable, which makes them the most apocalyptic element of my whole running costume. And, as you can see here, they also match my medal:

Duh, Winning!

taken by Shane.

Here’s the other thing. Over the course of the weekend, we talked a lot about running. I hate running. In high school, it took me like a half an hour to run the mile. I always wanted to fake sick that day so I didn’t have to go to gym class. But a few years ago, I just started doing it. I still hated it, but I felt great when I was done. Then I somehow got talked into running the Broad Street 10 Miler, and at some point during that training I was able to run three miles without stopping. I just kept doing it and kept signing up for more races. It’s not so much about trying to be super fast or winning as it is about the fact that this thing I thought I could never do– run ten miles and enjoy it– I’ve actually done… three times! I look forward to my weekend runs and don’t even need the company of my iPod anymore. And now, along with my great friend Elizabeth,  I have run the longest distance I’ve ever run, and I’m excited to do it again– what’s up Philadelphia Half!

Will I ever do the full 26.2? Maybe. I am thinking that I might just stick with 13.1 for a while and see how it goes. It’s kind of hard to make our bodies do something that makes absolutely no sense at all, but to quote one of my favorite mottos of all time, from one of my favorite bosses of all time: get your ass out of bed and your head will follow. If I just get out there and start running, then I’m capable of doing anything.

If it is the Apocalypse, then I’m prepared because I’m stylin’ in this wrap I indefinitely borrowed from Megan. We decided to curate an impromptu Fin du Monde celebratory barbecue. A dinner party featuring food that we might as well enjoy before the world ends: the most delicious grilled dinner, delightful wine, and s’mores (we weren’t going to go out with a whimper, that was for sure!). As late afternoon morphed into the kind of spring evening we’ve been dreaming of since January, it got chilly out at the Pines. Ever the host, Megan offered wraps to her more temperately-challenged guests. I got this one:

When I was blue in judgment / Cold in Office Cube

Photo by Abigail

Perhaps because it matched my outfit, but also perhaps because as an Aquarius, electric blue is my true astrological shade. Either way, it’s lovely, and is currently keeping me warm at my freezing cold office. According to Pantone, one might call this particular shade “blue depths.” If the Rapture did happen, and I was left on Earth to take care of everyone’s pets, this might be a color that would remind me of our salad days, spending hours sitting and talking with friends on the back porch, drinking delightful beverages and eating all of the food. I would be in the blue depths, with all of that fire and brimstone flesh eating bacteria.

The tag says it’s 100% Viscose, which basically means it’s constructed of a formerly natural material that got turned into Rayon. An appropriate Apocalyptic material– a synthetic manufactured out of an organic liquid. I was hoping to be able to work on this type of material formula Post-Rapture– maybe manufacturing silk out of all those reusable grocery bags I’d be able to scrounge. Alas, we’re all still intact in the World. Maybe I can work on this technique for the next scheduled cataclysm.

If this is true, then it might be important to think about what to wear. Because the Rapture is going to bring on the Apocalypse for those of us who get left behind. If the Apocalypse is anything like this… well: sign me up!

This also means that what I plan to wear tomorrow is going to be crucial, because it can happen at any time, and I’ll want to be prepared. Since I have to run ten miles before 11am, the outfit I wear into pending doom  may look something like this:

me and Mr. Pickle at the Cherry Blossom 10 Miler! Taken by Elizabeth

What’s good about this outfit is: layers! I’m wearing tights under the shorts (not as pants, people! not as pants!), a long-sleeved wiking shirt, and my New Order t-shirt from 1989 (which, during this race, actually got a complement around the 5th mile). Notice the shorts are bright orange. This will be useful– in all that muck and darkness, I’ll be able to be seen from afar. It was too cold to wear my running sleeves, but I think that these might be a little more appropriate for any kind of end of days moment that might be happening tomorrow:

My running sleeves have a pocket on each side, which is useful for holding a Goo packet. Goo is like pudding for runners… but it’s in a thing that looks like a ketchup packet. You’re supposed to take one at the beginning of vigorous exercise, and then every fifteen minutes after your first hour.  If I do a two hour run tomorrow, that’s five packets! And, if all of a sudden this Rapture thing happens, then it could be days before I can get back to my apartment; a zero calorie energy source will be imperative.

I’ll also be sporting my running pouch. It is important to note that a running pouch is NOT a fanny pack. It is a flat, zippered pouch which holds my iPhone (great for Hipstamatic photos of the Rock Creek when it’s boiling over with the hot fires of hell), keys, emergency Albuterol inhaler (I suspect there will be a lot of dust), and Goo packets.

I’ve been watching a lot of Battlestar Galactica lately. Not the Lorne Green version from the 70s, but the SyFy Channel’s reimagined version. According to that series, only hott people survived the Cylon Attack on the Colonies. Which means we can only hope that the Rapture might include some kind of fraked up battle of man versus toaster. For the record: I’d be totally willing to live for years in a space fleet. I mean…

b) I want them.

I think this photo is a good example of a practical application of this cowl. It’s also a perfect example of Apocalyptic fashion. The model’s outfit is black, or perhaps it’s brown. It’s a neutral color that might blend in with a dark landscape of an undone world, and the bright orange let’s you know not to drive your big robot over the human being.

As I told Elizabeth… this is the kind of outfit you might wear for walking about. You might wear it as you trudge along, thinking about your pre-Apocalyptic world where you might wear an outfit like this as you walked along the avenue, shopping. Or sitting outside at a cafe or a park drinking coffee.

(also, an aside: we can so totally make this!)

photo by Abigail

Perhaps sometimes referred to as a Gas Station Attendant Jacket. Technically, that’s not what it’s called. The Eisenhower Jacket is named after the 34th President of the United States, and has had various incarnations as the M-41 Field Jacket. The most popular version was designed for Ike when he was General Eisenhower and had requested a design upgrade of the standard issue. Post War, the jacket was manufactured by civilian companies (like Dickies), which probably led to it’s popularity among working class uniform types (i.e. delivery people, mechanics, and the aforementioned gas station attendant). Also, it was probably easy for 80s punks to pick one up at the same Army Navy Store where they got their combat boots or at the thrift store where they got the rest of their wardrobe.

I got this jacket at the Mexican Flea Market in Dallas, Texas in January, 1996. Somebody was selling a bunch of them, and I picked this one because of the name patch: “David.” The rest were plain and I figured there would be some kind of irony to wearing a jacket bearing a name not mine (and let me tell you how funny it is when I wear this jacket and someone says “Hi, David.”) There may have been some brown Eisenhowers, or maybe green in the lot, but mine is a Work Wear brand navy blue on the outside with a red lining.

After the flea market, a friend I was staying with (who happened to be a vintage car mechanic to the rockabilly stars of Dallas, TX) gave me a Peterbuilt patch, to commemorate our drive (we passed the Peterbuilt factory somewhere in Arkansas). I also went to some tourist trap and got a Texas flag patch which, back in 1996, carried much less baggage than it did four years later. Jason gave me a Trans Am patch he found somewhere, since I was pretty obsessed with that band at the time.

The next couple winters, I wore the crap out of this jacket. It went well with the image I was attempting to portray, with my vintage dresses and skunked hair. One time, I was at Urban Outfitters and some kid offered to pay me 250 bucks for it because he thought it was the coolest coat he ever saw. Sorry, I said, it’s not for sale, but you can probably go to any freaking thrift store in this town and get your own for 10% of what you just offered to pay me, and then maybe figure out your own patch schema without co-opting mine.

The Eisenhower Jacket is certainly punk. But, it’s also Apocalyptic because it’s transcended it’s original use– an army jacket– and has basically become symbolic of a subculture that has nothing to do with that. I could come up with a reason as to why the jacket is popular among punks, and maybe part of it is to portray some kind of anti-bougie quality. It’s most Apocalyptic feature is that it’s quite utilitarian, with two flap pockets on the front of the coat. I’ve gone to shows wearing this coat, putting my keys, phone (well, we didn’t really have cell phones in 1996, so that’s a bit more recent usage) and money in the front, not having to worry about a purse or anything that might hinder my mobility (though I have to say, the two breast-front pockets are not always the best place for a girl to store all that stuff… just saying). That’s pretty punk if you ask me.

We have already established that pockets are going to be important in the Apocalypse, to hold our natural world talismans, and these are big enough and secure enough to ensure that we can clutch at whatever aspect of our past of which we are unwilling to let go.